Tuesday, February 5, 2008

[NEWS UPDATE: MINNEAPOLIS]
In an astonishing and completely unexpected career move, local "Northern Rock" band, Jagged Spiral (www.jaggedspiral.com) will be competing in Jam Productions 'Battle of the Bands' Competition at the Dinkytowner Cafe. This Sunday Feb 10th, between 4 and 10PM. Eight bands are on the ballot, and a panel of experts will vote on the winner. Factors affecting the voting include:

• professionalism


• pre-concert ticket sales


• vocal and instrumental performance


• audience response


• the ability to appear to answer questions without really answering them

The winning band will move on to the finals, to compete for a grand prize promotional package including studio recording time, CD duplication, T-Shirts, Posters, etc...

The Minneapolis music scene is in shock, many of them outraged at this underdog joining the race so late in the game. While the other candidates scramble to defend their platforms, Jagged Spiral...doesn't seem to have one. Guitarist Colin Mallon and Percussionist Josh Kattelman could not be reached for comment. Bass Player and Vocalist, Conrad Zero, only responded using sign language indicating disapproval.

The only significant communication from the band has come from Jagged Spiral's manager, a mysterious female voice on the phone going by the name 'Sugar'. We were able to get this statement from her:

"The People have had enough. Enough of Emo. Enough of DJs. Enough Gangsa Rap. Enough Bad Music. Jagged Spiral aren't here to upset the apple cart of the Minneapolis music scene, they're here to burn it, and use the ashes as warpaint when they go onstage."

Jagged Spiral has already caused waves in 2007 when they released the first chapter of their manifesto: a concept album called "Days From Evil". All the songs from the album are free to download from their website, with a link for accepting donations, basically allowing fans to set the price for themselves. Other bands, notably Radiohead and Atmosphere have since followed suit, much to the chagrin of the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).

A member of one competing band (who wished to remain anonymous) said, "Jagged Spiral? They can't possibly win, so why are they even on the ballot? They're no threat to us."

Concerned citizens who wish to influence the course of Minneapolis Music History should plan to attend the event and make their opinions heard. Tickets are $8 and can be purchased by contacting conradzero@gmail.com or calling 612-216-8602.

[END OF MESSAGE]

-Z

Labels: As the Jagged Spirals, Concert, Jagged Live